Why Sitting Up is Awesome

Bridget can now sit up all by herself and is really having fun with it. She lays on her back and pops up repeatedly like a little prairie dog. She must have killer abs. Part of the joy of having children is getting to see the world all over again with new eyes. Most things about the […]

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The Sisterhood of Getting Changed

My daughter Brontë is mostly happy about having a baby sister. I say mostly, because she while she likes to pet her sister’s hair, cuddle her on occasion, and even call her “a good baby” when she’s feeling generous, she also has a few bones to pick with her. For instance, there’s the intolerable situation […]

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Why I Quit Drinking Coffee

I have been an insomniac for years. It sucks. There’s really no other way to put it. I lie in bed for hour after boring hour, dreading how awful I’m going to feel the next day as my cats mock me with endless napping. I flip uncomfortably back and forth while I watch the black light surrounding my windows slowly shifting into gray, then finally […]

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Tragedy of a Broken Egg

At long last, our chicken project has paid off. After weeks of hearing about how our chickens were supposed to lay eggs for us, my daughter Brontë was delirious with anticipation. She would check their coop every morning and scold the chickens for their lack of production. She would given them a hard, disapproving stare, slowly shake her head, and […]

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Governor Brown Moves Back Downtown

Whatever your personal politics may be, it’s hard not to love a guy like Jerry Brown. Just look at his actual, official, portrait, hanging at the State Capitol: It kind of stands out amongst all the stately oil-paintings of serious men standing next to bookcases. We Sacramentons notice these sorts of things, living as we do in the […]

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What Happens to California Babies When the Temperature Plummets below 70

Temperature is a relative thing. I’ve heard tales about mailmen in upstate New York who walk around in shorts when it’s 50 degrees outside. For them, 50 degrees must seem positively balmy, accustomed as they are to Volkswagen-swallowing mounds of snow. In California, that kind of behavior would make people wonder if you’re a couple sandwiches […]

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Everybody poops. Everybody.

Big stink lines wafted from my two-year old daughter. She was blurring the background view as she stood in her overripe diaper. “Did you poop, Brontë?” “NO!” She yelled, running behind the couch. “It’s okay if you pooped,” I reassured her, “Everybody poops.” Popping her eyes above the couch, she considered what I was saying. […]

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