Things You Never Pictured Yourself Saying

Bridget figures out how to use a faucet.
Bridget figures out how to use a faucet.


Things I found myself saying at the park today:
“Brontë, if you would keep your shoes on, the ground would stop hurting you.”


“Bridget, we don’t chew on old pantyhose we dug out of the sandbox.”

If kids have taught me nothing else, it’s that our fear of germs is learned. They MUST be building antibodies, with all of the gross stuff they find to chew on, or else we would’ve surely gone extinct from typhus centuries ago.

On the plus side, Bridget did figure out how to work water faucets, after her indignation about me wrestling someone’s discarded pantyhose out of her mouth subsided.

7 thoughts on “Things You Never Pictured Yourself Saying

  1. The one I dreaded saying was, “No more cookies!”. When I was around 17 years old my dad said it to me and I endlessly railed him for it. Everytime we had cookies, I would make fun of him for it. Vowed never to say it. Until I had kids. Now I say it all them time and I want to punch myself everytime I say it.

    Liked by 1 person

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