Conversations With My Cat


On Panicking Whenever I Walk Past Her

Me: Violet, you’ve been my cat for over two years now. If I were planning on eating you, I would’ve done it by now. So you don’t need to jump whenever I walk by.

Violet the Cat: That’s exactly what someone who was planning on eating me would say.


IMG_3239On the Sad Look They Just Gave Me


Me: Why are you looking at me like that? And what are you guys whispering about?

Wylie the Cat: It’s just… you were pregnant for such a LONG time and then you only had one single kitten.

Me: That’s normal for humans. We usually only have one.

Violet the Cat (putting her paw on my arm): I’m sure you do. You did great. Good job on the kitten.

Me: Don’t patronize me, Violet.

On Roger’s Gift

IMG_3183Roger walks in carrying a piece of paper in his mouth. He drops it by the door and stares at me.

Roger the Cat: I brought you something.

Me: Thanks Roger. That’s a very nice piece of paper.

Roger the Cat: I hunted it for you. Did you realize that?

Me: I did. Thank you.

Roger the Cat: It was fearsome.

Me: Yes.

Roger the Cat: Well? Don’t just stare at it, eat it!

Me: I can’t eat that. It’s a piece of paper.

Roger the Cat: FINE. I can’t find any mice, okay?

Me: I still can’t eat it, but I appreciate the gesture.

Roger the Cat (stomping out): WHATEVER.




12 thoughts on “Conversations With My Cat

  1. Those are great! We have similar conversations with our three cats, and we make up dialog for them as well.

    Kyra the Cat: This is my bed.

    Me: It’s all our bed.

    Kyra: It’s not the dogs’ bed.

    Me: They can be up here. Don’t be so mad.

    Kyra: This is my bed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha my cats would totally say that too if we had a dog!

      We will eventually also have a dog. I’m waiting for everyone in the house to be potty trained first, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, since you have young children, there’s no need to get a dog. We have two, and in some ways, it was like having a toddler again. Especially in trying to pay attention if the dogs have done their business, if you know what I mean.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. weave had catz like that. more scared than not. and weave knevvrrr eaten any of ’em !
    and the thing about the paper. for us, it’s 1/2 or 1/3-eaten dead mice on the doorstep. nice knowin’ they can provide for us, if things get any worse. and they might.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. some cats, maybe. most of ours are pretty adept, especially when one of our dogs (so far, just one dog is also interested in catching mice) joins them. one day a poor mouse was cornerd, or surrroundid, under a car, with a three cats AND THE DOG around the car. i think it got away. but not that many do (get away).


  4. LOL I love cat conversations. I talk to my kitties everyday and they are always little bastards with their responses. They do rule the house though. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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