Me: GET OFF THE TABLE!
Wylie the Cat: That’s so MEAN.
Violet the Cat: Yeah, you KNOW we love flat things.
Me: I don’t care. It’s dirty. We eat there.
Violet the Cat: How DARE you? I bathe twenty-seven times a day!
Me: Don’t care. I don’t need you guys tracking your litter-paws across the table.
Violet the Cat: Oh, she went there…
Wylie the Cat: Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything but… WE KNOW YOU’VE BEEN PEEING IN THE WATER SUPPLY!
Me: I’m not peeing in the water supply. You guys drink out of the toilet.