The Jedi Mind Tricks of Four-Year-Old Girls

IMG_3342I’ve written before about how my daughter Brontë is the girliest girly-girl ever.

Not that there’s anything wrong with being a girly-girl, but I tried not to brainwash her from the start. I painted her room green, bought her gender-neutral toys, and avoided all those horrible onesies with cutesy princess slogans that say crap like “I’m so cute I never have to learn math” or “Someday boys will buy me things.”

Okay maybe they don’t say that, exactly, but it’s definitely the subtext.

Yet despite my best efforts, my daughter turned into the kind of girl who wants to wear princess costumes every day and needs just one more episode of My Little Pony before she gets the shakes.

What’s more, I’ve witnessed different boy and girl tendencies while working at her preschool.

Now before everyone gets all riled up, of course these are only tendencies that don’t apply to every individual kid. But I’ve noticed general differences. We have to stop little boys from punching each other on the regular, for example, whereas it’s tougher to break up the subtle mind games involved in girl conflicts.

And you know all of those cheesy internet memes about how it’s impossible to win arguments with women so don’t bother trying? Yeah, well there’s some truth to that too.

The other day, my daughters Brontë (four), Bridget (two), and I had just returned from the park when my husband John came home from work. He walked in seconds before Brontë, who was excited to see him, started chattering about her day.

John was distracted, though, by setting down his stuff and sorting though all the mail and whatnot. So he brushed her off without intending to.

This is how she handled it…

Brontë (stomping upstairs): FINE. I’ll just TALK TO MYSELF THEN.

John (following her): Sorry, Brontë.

Brontë: ‘Hi Brontë, how was your day?’ Oh, it was good…

John: How was the park, Brontë? Did you have fun?

Brontë (pretending she doesn’t hear him): I like mermaids, mommy. You like mermaids?

Envisioning her future world domination

The funniest part is how it sounded EXACTLY like an argument I’d have with my husband myself. I think I’ve actually HAD that same argument, in fact, except for the part about mermaids.

And she’s already mastering it at the tender age of four.

The Force is strong with this one.


6 thoughts on “The Jedi Mind Tricks of Four-Year-Old Girls

    1. Oh, she sure is… And I couldn’t help laughing while still feeling bad for John.

      She’s also given to extreme melodrama. Says things like “Please stop singing, daddy. You’re making my heart cry.”

      Liked by 1 person

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