I’m not sure what adulthood means to most 4-year-olds, but from what I can tell, my daughter’s version involves:
- Dressing all by yourself
- NOT peeing your pants
- Making up a bunch of arbitrary rules, and
- Telling people stories
I guess I can see her point. Brontë is very proud to have mastered the first three items, and earlier today, she decided to take her adulthood to a whole new level.
Speaking in very best take-charge voice, she asked her father and I to stop whatever we were doing so she could begin…
Brontë: Guys, I’m gonna tell you a story. There was a princess scared in the forest and her name was Snow White and she found a house in the forest with a bunch of animals where she was safe. Then the seven whores came home…
John: “DWARVES.” That’s very important. What were their names?
Brontë: Grumpy, Dopey. Umm… Max and Bob. Maybe Kevin.
Me: Like your favorite Minion?
Brontë: Yes, Kevin is the best Minion. Grumpy is the mean one. Anyway, Snow White had a nice dress and sings some songs and one day a DRAGON came to the house!
Me: That’s scary.
Brontë: Yes, very scary. So the Queen Mother sends a dragon to the house and it killed Snow White. Her was dead! So a prince comes and fights a bunch of roses…
Me: Is this Sleeping Beauty?
Brontë: No, I’M TALKING ABOUT SNOW WHITE. The prince makes her wake up and the animals said “Yay!” and everyone lived Happily. Ever. After.
Me: That was exciting.
Brontë: Yes, it’s really, really good.