How ‘Bout Them Bapples? and Other Assorted Toddler Rebellions

It’s been interesting to check out the kind of advertising they’ve been running on my site lately. Expecting something more along the lines of Legos or diaper deals, I’ve been shocked by all the ads for MBA degrees and thousand-dollar Polyvore skirts.

(Was this because I made fun of Gwyneth Paltrow a while back? I’ll just assume their

paltrow
Says the woman with a pizza-stove in her backyard

algorithm can’t detect sarcasm.)

Or maybe it has more to do with my audience; in which case, you guys are classy folks.

In other news, Bridget, my 3-year-old, has been eating one bite of every apple we own.

Or strawberries, or bananas, or chips, or what-have-you: any grouping of like food substances in a bowl has been vulnerable. It’s the toddler equivalent of grownups who take a small chunk out of every chocolate in the box until they finally find a filling they deem acceptable.

Except in this case, they’re all the same. So why, toddlers, why? Are you trying to find the best one? Are you claiming all the apples for later use? Is it just because you’re not supposed to do it?

She loves to beg for “bapples” then scream “DONE!” after taking one taste. Or burritos, or tacos, or whatever else she catches anyone eating and therefore wants. It’s baffling.

But this toddler phenomenon is hardly news to other parents. A more compelling development has been her 5-year-old sister Brontë becoming the house’s new Apple Sheriff.

After observing the drama enough times, she decided to climb onboard my ongoing Bridget projects by coaching her on everything from potty-training to putting dirty clothes in the hamper to not finishing apples. What’s more, I just figured out that she’s been taping these coaching sessions on the iPad her grandparents bought her, which is hilarious:

 

Of course, Brontë never accounted for how much more fun eating one bite of an apple would become after Bridget realized how much it would torture her big sister. It’s like Brontë just handed her a big, red, sister-freakout button and then begged her not press it.

I do appreciate Brontë’s efforts, though 🙂

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14 thoughts on “How ‘Bout Them Bapples? and Other Assorted Toddler Rebellions”

    1. Oh, YES. Or their boogers or whatever other freaky things they really want to hand us, lol.

      The cutting up fruit thing is a good idea. We generally do that too, though we occasionally make the mistake of setting out communal bowls of something and trying to teach an object lesson about finishing the entire piece of fruit or bread or whatever. It’s not taking, so far, though it apparently catches on sometimes after age 5 (in our experience).

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    1. Aw, that’s cute! I love some toddler-isms and feel slightly sad when they start pronouncing words right.

      Except not that take-one-bite thing… what IS that!? It’s really common and keeps ruining everyone’s fruit!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, that’s true. Of course, she hears me correcting her little sister all the time and must be trying on her grown-up skills, happy to finally not be the one getting corrected all the time. At least she’s not a complete tyrant about it, I suppose.

      I definitely see her getting into the Drama club and/or filmmaking someday. She can say she started when she was 5.

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      1. Yeah, she would be great. My daughter used to do these videos when she was young about dolls and stuff like she was a popular YouTuber and now she like being in drama and plays. I guess some people grow up doing what they did when they were young.

        Liked by 1 person

            1. Ha! My five year old currently thinks it’s awesome that I talk about her on the internet, but I’m guessing that will change in about ten years.

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                1. Yeah my kids can’t read yet but Brontë feels my blog doesn’t contain enough bunny pictures. My husband only reads it occasionally, which makes me want to talk about his farts more in a maniacal attempt to lure him in. I figure my kids could someday suffer some junior high backlash if I talk about dad farts too much, though.

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