What Kind Of Parent Are You?

Before I had kids, I knew exactly what kind of parent I would be. I’d be the kind who: Makes their kid wonderful meals from scratch and teaches them to love eating healthy sophisticated foods, and Reasonably explains why screaming in public is a bad idea and therefore has super well-behaved kids in public. And […]

Read More What Kind Of Parent Are You?

Because English is Hard

The other day at breakfast, I was handing my five-year-old some toast… Me: Here, eat some jam and bread like your ancestors. Brontë: What are my “ancestors?” Me: Well… okay, you know how I’m your mom and my mom is your grandma? Brontë: Yeah. Me: Her mom is your great-grandma, right? And her mom was […]

Read More Because English is Hard

When Trying to Be Cute Backfires

Struggling to Make Her Eat: A Dialogue Between Mom and Her 5-year-old Child (That mother is me. I’m the mom in this scenario.) Scene: It’s lunchtime. Mom has lovingly prepared a princess-pink divider plate with a bean burrito and a handful of strawberries, with the stems scooped out, because her daughter has loved strawberries since […]

Read More When Trying to Be Cute Backfires

My Toddler Throws a Coffee Fit

My 3-year-old daughter Bridget is starting to sting together sentences and have actual conversations, which is when I think parenting starts getting real fun. I mean, I love them before that and all, but it’s a whole lot of screaming and you-cleaning-up poop before intelligible sentences come into play. Graspable language is when you start […]

Read More My Toddler Throws a Coffee Fit

5 Ways Having Kids Makes You Fat

Dieting SUCKS, so there’s usually some triggering event that convinces someone to start eating better. For a friend of mine, it once was getting thrown out of a roller-coaster line by an attendant twice her size. For me, it’s been arguing with my five-year-old about not actually being pregnant. Because she insists that the last time my […]

Read More 5 Ways Having Kids Makes You Fat

Monster Attacks as a Teaching Tool

Some parents bribe their kids when faced with an avalanche of tantrums and whining. There are entire discussion threads devoted to the most effective toddler bribes. Other parents resort to scare tactics. A friend of mine once warned her daughter not to scream in grocery stores because monsters would hear her. Many people, especially those who place honesty at […]

Read More Monster Attacks as a Teaching Tool