Tag Archives: bloggers

Bob, The Pyramid Construction Guy, Has It Out With His Wife

I’ve talked before about how cool it is that anyone can blog now. Maybe everything published isn’t as polished as it used to be, but at least everyone’s voice can be heard.

It’s neat that future generations will have so many records of what we everyday folks were thinking, even if those thoughts mostly consist of bitching about annoying coworkers, talking about lunch, or showing off stuff we just bought.

That’s just not the case with earlier periods of human history, considering only the writings of highly-educated, elite aristocrats survived. I’ve sometimes wondered if we picture these periods as being more formal than they usually were because their lingering voices are always issuing edicts or chanting lofty works of poetry.

egyptcats.jpgTake Ancient Egypt, for example. Most people couldn’t write and those that could were chronicling important historical events or carving painstaking hieroglyphics across sacred monuments for billionaire employers. Stuff the gods were supposed to read for all eternity.

But what about Bob, one of construction guys hammering out the pyramid bricks? He had a life too. I picture Bob getting home after a long day pushing blocks and talking to his wife Della like this:

Della: Hey Bob, how was your day? Did you remember to pick up some figs?

Bob (groaning): No, I didn’t grab any figs.

Della: Dammit, Bob. I’m meeting Lucille at temple tomorrow and now I can’t make honey fig casserole. And I can’t make any honey cakes either because some rats got into the wheat bags last night. What am I supposed to do!?

Bob: Geez, I’m sorry Della. Guess I was too busy today HAULING 80 TON BRICKS UP WOODEN RAMPS to think about your figs. And how are rats getting into the wheat bags again? What good is your stupid cat? I don’t know why we keep on feeding it.

Della: Watch your mouth, Bob. She’s not just a cat, she’s the living embodiment of the Goddess Bastet.

Bob: Well, your goddess just crapped in the living room again.

Della: Great.

Okay maybe they never had that exact conversation, but I’m guessing more people were  worried about getting to work on time and wondering what they ate that was bothering their stomachs than thinking the highbrow stuff plastered all over city monuments.



Do Bubbles Really Cause Obesity?

Every once in a while, we long-suffering bloggers check our WordPress stats and are thrilled by a sudden explosion of new views or followers.

That’s probably the most awesome thing that can happen to bloggers when checking out our stats,  but a close second has got to be finding out the search terms people used to find our blogs.

Because those can be downright hilarious.

Don’t do it, kid! Save yourself!

Like tonight, when someone inadvertently navigated to my site after asking the internet whether bubbles cause obesity.

I just… can’t make heads or tails of this idea.

I mean, I get the logistics of the search results (my blog has “bubbles” in the title and I guess I’ve talked about dieting and obesity a couple of times), but what’s really throwing me is the idea that someone, somewhere, is genuinely wondering whether bubbles may be responsible for their weight problem.

What kind of bubbles are they even envisioning? Spit bubbles? Soap bubbles? The kind of bubbles you played with as a kid?

Is there some kind of granola-hippie nut job  out there suggesting that chemicals in children’s bubble formulas are responsible for the obesity epidemic in America today?

Have you tried losing weight only to watch each diet fail, time and time again? Well, stop torturing yourself, my friend! There’s no need to feel guilty…  you’ve been a victim of the Great Bubble Conspiracy. Once released from the nefarious bubbesphere, you’ll see pounds melt off effortlessly, without changing your lifestyle or spending countless hours at the gym!

I seriously doubt bubbles have anything to do with gaining weight, unless the bubbles in question are the bubbles in bubble tea. Because those have a startling number of calories.

Sheesh, these weight-loss gimmicks are getting weird.




How a Single Childless Blogger Rails Against Feminism

I don’t know if any of my blogging buddies follow Jason Cushman at the Opinionated Man, but that guy is weirdly fascinating.

He blogs multiple times a day and has about 58 billion followers, a practically hypnotic feat to the rest of us trying to light up our miniscule grains of sand along this massive blogging beach.

Okay, it’s more like 58 thousand, but it may as well be 58 million to those of us trying to break a few hundred daily views.

At any rate, he blogs often enough it’s tough to keep up with him. But today, he reblogged a post  entitled Seven People That Need Punching in The Crotch and I just had to click.

Maybe it’s because the title sounded so similar to People I Want To Punch In the Throat, a hilarious blog I love, but I was intrigued.

Turns out, it was a post from a forty-something woman, called Skinny and Single. Her first crotch-punching-worthy listed group were those calling her a feminist.

I just had to read on…

She says she’d actually love to let some guy make all the money while she cooks, cleans the house and takes care of the kids. Alright…

#4 ended up being “actual” feminists, who want the same pay for the same jobs, despite their inability to move heavy tires as fast as many men. #6 was about “stupid bitches” who want access to men’s only areas. And #7 was about “stupid women” who want time off work for their periods.

She concluded by assuring us she was neither a feminist nor a “social justice warrior” (a phrase loved so much by the MRA that it’s often used in abbreviated form). She despaired for the legacy of future generations, since these feminists types care so little about their feminine instincts that they’ve supposedly shucked their motherly responsibilities to spend time hating on men.


Baffled by her rant, I couldn’t help but read some of her other postings. Turns out, she’s a single woman who doesn’t want children (because they’re all brats), who loves her freedom as well as the sense of accomplishment gained from fixing her own car and solving mechanical issues about the house.

Her lack of interest in raising children, of course, doesn’t stop her from proselytizing about the downfall of the modern family unit or telling everyone else how they should be raising their kids.

The most baffling thing, however, is how she seems like such a nice person. She’s funny, and yet I can’t quite how reconcile her outspoken hatred of feminism in light of her lifestyle choices it made possible.

I find it ironic that I consider myself a feminist, despite being a stay-at-home mom with girly tendencies, while this single woman, who boasts about her independence and rails against potentially having kids, rejects the idea wholesale.

It makes me wonder how we define feminism these days. Because for me, it means equal opportunity and equal choices. In a pre-feminism world, for example, she’d be considered an unnatural whore for rejecting her primary role as a mother and homemaker.

I support her choice not to have children, just as I expect society to accept mine. I believe the wage gap is a systemic problem… women still typically take on the chief responsibilities of parenting within a system that offers primitive parental leave options and no subsidized daycare. Not a conscious effort on the part of employers, per se, but a societal framework that doesn’t take families into account.

And whenever it makes sense for fathers to become primary caretakers (because of their individual natures or the type of work that they do), I support it entirely. I think stay-at-home fathers are great, believing paternity leave is also an important issue in a culture that used to deny fathers the respect they are clearly due.

I’d assume she was simply taking feminist movement gains for granted, except that she’s older than I. Not young enough to forget everything feminists fought for, to assume that proudly announcing her desire for an independent career over children could be anything less than a basic right.

If this woman, who is single in her forties, doesn’t want children, and prides herself in her independence, rejects feminism… then what do people now think feminism means?

Forty years ago, women had to include photos on employment applications. They had to report their weight and height, say whether they intended on having children and when they usually had their periods. Applications were color-coded in blue or pink, so employers would know instantly whether they were dealing with women or a men.

Nowadays, discrimination still exists though it’s less conscious. For example, when researchers at Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences sent employment applications to chemistry, biology, and physics labs differing only by the gender of applicants’ names,  employers considered females less competent, less hirable, less worthy of mentorship, and offered them lower starting salaries.

Our biases may now be subconscious, which is far tougher to legislate than overtly discriminatory practices, but a handicap just the same. I don’t know the best ways to address it, but I’m guessing that promoting MRA arguments won’t help.

Maybe we’ve reached the point where all but the most extremist feminists will identify accordingly. Only the most irrational, angry, hostile-towards-men will still openly recognize any biases. I’m saddened by this, out of fear that anyone working toward equal opportunities will be summarily dismissed as a man-hating harpy.

So, I’ll just go ahead and declare myself a feminist, a stay-at-home mom who loves her family dearly and has no issues with the average guy. No group, whether male or female, black or white, rich or poor, holds a monopoly on righteousness, but that doesn’t make systematic discrimination any more fair.

And she can continue to reject the idea of marriage or family, brag about her independence, and make fun of feminists. They sacrificed quite a lot to give her the choices that she’s now making, but if she tries hard enough, perhaps she can roll society back a few decades and make her lifestyle obsolete.

After all, we don’t move heavy tires as efficiently.











My Blog Demographics Say I Should Be Writing Men’s Fashion Tips

As I’ve previously mentioned, dedicated bloggers can find detailed information about who’s checking out their blogs. They can find out how popular they are with different age groups, for example, or in different cities, and what kinds of topics interest their readers.

There are so many blogs out there that figuring out your niche is critical for growing an audience, or so I’ve read. Looking at your audience demographics is supposed to help.

blogging-is-like-theatre-shakespeare-234x300Weird Search Terms

WordPress tells you what search terms people used to navigate to your site and my all-time favorite has to be “what is a dick beebot?”

Clearly, the term “beebot” led to my site, but I really wish I knew who that person was and what they were trying to find. I doubt it was a mommy blog about hilarious moments in parenting.

But I had another interesting one a few days ago: “wearing red, tips for guys.”

This google search led him (I’m assuming it’s a him) to my article about wearing red, where he was undoubtedly frustrated. My advice not to go overboard with the red by simultaneously wearing red lipstick, heels and a dress was less than helpful, I’m sure.

I never even suspected guys worried about wearing red effectively. Who knew?

Unexpected Demographics

As my blog wears on and I accumulate more experience, I’m beginning to see consistent patterns within my audience demographics.


bloggirlSome of them seem logical enough. For instance, my blog is most popular among 25 to 35 year olds. That makes sense, because I write about having two kids under five and I’m guessing most parents with children under five are in the 25 to 35 year old age group.

Next highest is 18 to 25, which is probably the next most common age for parents of young kids, in addition to blog readership skewing young because blogging is more hip and tech-savvy than dusty library books (which I also love, by the way).

This is probably why people aged 50+ are my least common readers.


Now here’s where I’ve been quite surprised. Considering I’m a woman who writes a mommy blog about her two daughters and occasionally throws in a yoga or fashion article, I expected my audience to skew largely female.

Boy, was I wrong.

My audience is generally around 70 percent male and 30 percent female, or somewhere close to it.

So, while I have a sizable chunk of female readers (mostly women who have a fabulous sense of humor as well as awesome blogs), I’m clearly attracting more men than I expected and I’m scratching my head about why that is.

Many of them are fathers, which I think is fantastic. They like reading about parenting and must really love their kids.

Maybe it’s because I’m more likely to tell poop stories than give crafting advice. Or maybe it’s despite the poop stories, who can tell? I guess I’m suggesting my blog is more about funny stories than beautiful projects, which maybe resonates with dads.

Also, I like video games. Maybe gamer dads are just accidentally landing here then kicking their shoes off for a spell.

Popular Posts


Another way for bloggers to better define their audience is by looking at what articles really took off.

Mine seem like a crapshoot sometimes. I’ll write something I thought was hysterical then hear crickets for the next week, whereas some other random post gets thousands and thousands of views.

I’ve heard other bloggers say the same–sometimes your post hits at just the right time. I’m sure there’s a science to it that I have yet to figure out.

But when I look at a couple of my really popular posts, like this one and this one, I notice they say something about gender differences I’ve noticed in parents and children. Maybe it has something to do with my tendency to openly analyze what I’m seeing without being either a full-blown traditionalist or refusing to believe any different tendencies exist.

Or maybe people just thought they were funny. I don’t know.

The Takeaway

So having looked over my current audience, I have to wonder if I should be throwing out a few more articles with a male audience in mind. Like, tips on wearing red, for example.

I couldn’t begin to analyze male clothing to the degree that male experts do (it’s like asking a guy to distinguish between 50 different shades of red lipstick), but maybe I could give a female perspective. Like, “Guy Style that Women find Hot” or “Ten Things In Your Closet Your Wife Secretly Wants to Burn.”

Food for thought.

I wonder if other bloggers have found demographics useful and have tailored their posts with their audience in mind. There’s a huge science to this whole blogging gig that I’m just beginning to unravel.