My Kid Made Me Look Racist In Public

  I didn’t used to know if kids actually embarrassed their parents by saying super inappropriate things in public, or if that only happened on TV. I thought maybe it just was a convenient comedy device, like kids wearing off-center  baseball caps and scrawling backwards letters on their lemonade stand signs as they learned the value of a […]

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Toddlers Are Dramatic and Literal

Brontë walked up to me this morning looking very serious. “Momma, we need to talk.” “Of course we can talk.” Looking deep into my eyes, she said “I need to ask you a question.” I nodded. “Can I count on you?” I grabbed her hand: “Of COURSE you can count on me! I will ALWAYS be here […]

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A Valentine’s Day Massacre

    When it starts, I’m walking hand-in-hand with my daughters through the kind of glorious, dreamlike day you hope will leave an impression on your children. We were negotiating whether to buy ice cream cones or see the bears when a peacock slipped into the wolf cage. Valentine’s Day was unusually sunny this year, so John and I […]

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The Secret to Happiness

Imagine picking up an old brass lamp from a flea market. It’s pretty, but tarnished. You take it home, pull out some polish, and begin rubbing away at the stains. Suddenly, a puff of smoke… a genie appears, all decked out in a turban and silk pants. He is prepared to grant you three wishes […]

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