I used to consider myself an introvert until I met my husband and started having conversations like the one we had last week.
We were driving to our very first Back-To-School night because Brontë is starting Kindergarten. It’s a milestone, so I was pretty excited.
But my husband seemed out of sorts. He kept braking the car, worrying about getting there on time (even though we were waaaay ahead of schedule) and kept ranting about how the church we live next to really, really needs to do a better job of trimming their hedges…
John: And WHY do they let people leave free sofas on the corner!? That just looks TACKY. Like our neighborhood is one GIANT GARAGE SALE.
Me: Umm… are you alright? is there something wrong?
John: I just WANT TO BE THERE ON TIME.
Me: We’re going to be sitting in this car for half an hour. We live 5 minutes away from the school.
John: I don’t even know WHO’S GOING TO BE THERE.
Me: Probably teachers and parents. Possibly the principal.
John: Yeah, look…
John: I’m… (sighs) just an introvert getting ready to go do this big, stupid extrovert thing and there’s going to be ALL THESE PARENTS and stuff.
Me (confused): Are you scared?
John: Not scared, I just don’t know what’s about to happen. I hope nothing bad is about to happen and there’s all these people…
Me: What could possibly happen? Like, one of these people is gonna pull out a gun and start robbing us? A bomb could go off? Someone hauls off and punches you in the face?
John: NO. There could be… ICEBREAKERS. I really, really don’t want an ICEBREAKER to happen.
Me (incredulous): Is this the kind of thing where you’re nervous but secretly like it?
John: I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO TELL A STRANGER ABOUT MY FIRST CONCERT OR SEE WHO CAN BUILD A TOWER OUT OF POPSICLE STICKS.
Me (in hysterics): I have to Facebook this. Do you mind?
John (assuming I simply can’t envision this catastrophe occurring): You just GO AHEAD because I’ve ACTUALLY HAD TO DO THOSE THINGS. At WORK. They grab a bunch of introverted tech geeks and make them…
Me: Build stuff?
John: TALK TO PEOPLE.
Spoiler: There didn’t end up being any icebreaker activities because they were too busy trying to make people volunteer for stuff (another frightening scenario I hadn’t foreseen).
But I did end up Facebooking the conversation and was surprised by how much moral support my husband received. Many people talked about how they’d rather just keep working than attend meetings with forced interaction and some went as far as calling extroverts “complete social tyrants.”
Is this a thing? Do people really hate icebreakers this much?
(Psh, and they say dog people are extroverted compared to cat people. That clearly doesn’t apply to everyone.)