Kids, Cats, and Evil Twins

I have a little black & white kitty, named “Violet,” who usually hides under the bed whenever she hears humans stomping around. Her skittishness eventually trained my daughter Brontë to walk softly and approach gently, which made Brontë the only other person Violet doesn’t fear. Delighted with her newfound cat-enchantment skills, Brontë asked me one […]

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My Daughter Misgenders the Cat

My four-year-old daughter Bridget’s favorite toy ever is “Catfish,” a stuffed-animal Siamese cat with a fish drawing on its collar. And though she loves him, he’s clearly her fall guy. Messy room, dirty bed, broken toys… she’s been insisting Catfish orchestrated all these petty toddler crimes and more. He’s been so naughty, in fact, we […]

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What Kind Of Parent Are You?

Before I had kids, I knew exactly what kind of parent I would be. I’d be the kind who: Makes their kid wonderful meals from scratch and teaches them to love eating healthy sophisticated foods, and Reasonably explains why screaming in public is a bad idea and therefore has super well-behaved kids in public. And […]

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Because English is Hard

The other day at breakfast, I was handing my five-year-old some toast… Me: Here, eat some jam and bread like your ancestors. Brontë: What are my “ancestors?” Me: Well… okay, you know how I’m your mom and my mom is your grandma? Brontë: Yeah. Me: Her mom is your great-grandma, right? And her mom was […]

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Judgey Cakes and Baby Angst

Upon finding out that Halloween is soon and she could eat all the chocolate she wants, my Viking baby Bridget made this face: Because she loves spooky stuff (Jack Skellington is her personal hero) and really, really likes chocolate. This was welcome news, because Bridget has been on a real tear lately. Having lots of […]

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My Kid Is SO Over Tom & Jerry

So my kids were watching Tom and Jerry this morning when my daughter Brontë finally stood up to announce: “Well, the mouse won AGAIN. Like ALWAYS.” And stomped off in disgust. “But if the cat won, that would be the end of the show,” I tell her. “Yeah, so the mouse is gonna SAVE THE […]

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